My Singin' Legs

Today, I say good-bye to my dear friend, Ryan.  He was killed in a car accident on December 2nd.  We grew up together; I've known him and his family for 25 years.  He and his brothers were brothers to my sister and I since we met.  I will always remember Ryan with a smile on his face because he was always smiling.  My heart aches for his family and their loss.  We are all suffering, but we do know one thing: We WILL see Ryan again one day!  I miss you buddy! I can't be Losing sleep over this No I can't And now I cannot stop pacing Give me a few hours I'll have this all sorted out If my mind would just stop racing Cause I cannot stand still I can't be this unsturdy This cannot be happening This is over my head But underneath my feet Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat And everything will be back to the way that it was I wish that it was just that easy Cause I'm waiting for tonight Then waiting for tomorrow And I'm so...

Today is a musical kind of day for me.  Obviously, just look at my posts for today alone.  This song is for Chris.  ;) Been up all night Staring at you Wondering what's on your mind I've been this way With so many before But this feels like the first time You want the sunrise To go back to bed I want to make you laugh Mess up my bed with me Kick off the covers I'm waiting Every word you say I think I should write down I don't want to forget Come daylight Happy to lay here Just happy to be here I'm happy to know you Play me a song Your newest one Please leave your taste on my tongue Paperweight on my back Cover me like a blanket Mess up my bed with me Kick off the covers I'm waiting Every word you say I think I should write down I don't to forget Come daylight And no need to worry That's wastin time And no need to wonder What's been on my mind It's you It's you Every word you say I think I should write...

James Morrison is incredible and this is one of my favorite songs of his. *insert girly girly moment*  I hope one day this song will describe me and the man that I love.  *girly girly moment over* There was a time I had nothing to give I needed shelter from the storm I was in And when it all got too heavy You carried my weight And I want to hold you And I want to say That you are all that I need For you, I give my soul to keep You see me, love me Just the way I am For you I am a better man I said you are the reason For everything that I do I'd be lost, so lost, without you Under the stars At the edge of the sea There's no one around No one but you and me We'd talk for hours As time drifts away I could stay here for ever And hold you this way

I'm loving on this song!  Big time loving on it!  I love Ron's voice and his lyrics are powerful.  I just had to share... more so share with my future self, but share nonetheless. A drop in the ocean, A change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, But I'm holding you closer than most, 'Cause you are my heaven. I don't wanna waste the weekend, If you don't love me, pretend A few more hours, then it's time to go. And as my train rolls down the East coast, I wonder how you keep warm. It's too late to cry, too broken to move on. Still I can't let you be, Most nights I hardly sleep. Don't see what you don't need, from me. Just a drop in the ocean, A change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert, But I'm holding you closer than most, 'Cause ...

This song made me smile when I heard it.  I looked up the lyrics and it was a little perfect.  You may know why it made me smile... you may not.  Just know, it was a good smile.  The kind the starts in the eyes, travels through your cheeks and slowly draws up the corners of your mouth as if in slow motion.  Then you realize your smile is so big your eyes close and happiness travels down your body like a current.  Those are the good smiles.  The ones you want.  The ones you truly deserve. Kiss Me Slowly Stay with me, baby stay with me Tonight, don't leave me alone Walk with me Come and walk with me To the edge of all we've ever known I can see you there with the city lights Fourteenth floor pale blue eyes I can breathe you in Two shadows standing by the bedroom door No, I could not want you more Then I did right then As our heads leaned in well I'm not sure what this going to be But with my eyes closed a...

So you all know about how music affects me and when one speaks to me, I have to write it down or share it.  I came across this song while listening to Joshua Radin Pandora and just about fell out of my chair.  It's rich, soulful, and sexy.  It put a smile on my face; maybe it will yours too. Baby take off your coat And I’ll loosen my tie You are far too beautiful For us to turn off the lights Your December skin And a trail of our clothes You can keep your socks on If your feet are cold But I don’t want to have to ask permission Give me a chance It won’t be perfect, just an unbroken promise from An imperfect man Your red wine tongue My sudden loss of breath You like the sound of my heartbeat When you lay your head on my chest But I don’t want to have to ask permission Give me a chance It won’t be perfect, just an unbroken promise from An imperfect man So draw all the curtains, all the goodbyes are gone Love found through love gone wrong An ...

A friend of mine sent me a link to an astrology website.  Now, I do not believe in astrology, but I do find it incredibly coincidental.  I began reading the breakdown and was taken aback by how close in description is really is to who I am.  It's not a perfect depiction, but it's the closest I've seen ever. Aquarius Strength Keywords: (All of these are true) - Witty - Clever - Humanitarian - Inventive - Original Aquarius Weakness Keywords: (All of these are true) - Stubborn - Unemotional - Sarcastic - Rebellious - Aloof Aquarius and Independence: Aquarius personality is very independent, any attempt to hold them down or restrict them will cause them, to flee. They need to be free to be on their own. Independence is not just desired by Aquarius, it is essential to their well being. Aquarius and Friendship: Beneath the detached, unemotional exterior lies a kind hearted friend that will go out of their way to help another. They love to make people la...

So just recently I discovered Ghost, the musical.  I've fallen in love.  It's beautiful.  Currently, this song is on repeat... The lyrics are breathtaking. Nothing Stop Another Day I see the sunrise from my window It must have risen everyday But I couldn’t see at all, the shadows were too tall, but I am seeing it today I could see the people speaking; I couldn’t hear a word they say Just the echo of it all, passing through an empty hall, I’m hearing it today Because the world keeps turning and I guess it always will I can choose to turn around, or I can choose to just stand still, either way, nothing stops another day. I lost my life and all its meaning And so I locked myself away But in my heart behind a wall, I couldn’t feel it beat at all But I’m feeling it today. Because the world keeps turning and I guess it always will I can choose to turn around, or I can choose to just stand still, either way, no...

What is the purpose of looking behind you?  Looking back to your past?  Why do we do this?  People are in your past for a reason, a purpose.  Why do we try and pull them into our present?  Why? I did this today.  I was having a conversation with a friend and she asked, again, about my recent ex, Robby.  Did I miss him?  Would I consider being with him again?  And again, I answered that I didn't and I don't.  Talk about beating a dead horse!  Ugh... so then she mentions something about ex boyfriends; so, naturally, I start thinking about mine.  The one that I keep coming back to is Tommy.  He is the one with the unresolved past.  The one that broke up with me via text after I broke my foot.  I think that is the reason I think about him; the unfinished business thing.  The need to understand the REAL reason why he ended the relationship.  So, what do I do?  Crazy Emily goes and looks him up on Face...

Let me just tell you, it's powerful. Music moves me in ways I couldn't even begin to understand. There's an emotional reaction, a mental reaction, and depending on the song and circumstance, a physical reaction. I'm the kind of person that listens to happy music when I'm in a happy mood, sad music when I'm in a sad mood, and so on and so forth. Most people think I'm crazy for listening to sad music when I'm sad, but it helps me. It brings me, emotionally and mentally, to the same place so I can make everything fit and then move on.  It's how I process heartache; no matter the circumstance.  The same goes for when I'm angry.  I listen to hard music, loud music, angry music.  It takes me to the place I'm angry and through the words, I pull myself out of the darkness.  My car usually takes a beating when I'm in those moods.  I drive and beat my steering wheel. I can just listen to the music and be affected, but when I really need to ...

This song has been on repeat for the last several days.  I love Sara Bareilles and her music.  She's not afraid to be real and I love that about her.  I love the music.  I love the words.  I love my musical therapist.  Hope you enjoy it. Hold my breath and I'll count to ten I'm the paper and you're the pen You fill me in and you are permanent And you'll leave me to dry I'm the writer and she's the muse I'm the one that you always choose She will falter and gift her blame And it's starts all over again Again again again She is bright lights and cityscapes And white lies and cavalcades And she'll take all you ever have But I'm gonna love you You say maybe it'll last this time But I'm gonna love you You never have to ask I'm gonna love you 'Til you start looking back I'm gonna love you So right I wouldn't need a second chance Shield your eyes from the truth at hand Tell me why it'll be good a...

Here it is... my so called life.  I feel stuck and I'm not sure what it will take to feel unstuck.  I'm not completely unhappy... I have a lot of things to be happy about if I'm being completely honest.  On the flip side, there are many things that do make me feel unhappy.  I have 2 jobs, the cutest little puppy ever, an amazing family, the best group of friends, 2 of the best friends in the world, a social life, a new car, no debt (except school loans and my car note), an upcoming trip to Italy with my sister, I could go on.  All of that is fine and good and I'm so thankful for it.  However, I find myself alone.  I know that I'm not, but I feel it all the time.  I got to work every day and come home to an empty apartment except for Daisy.  Seeing her sweet little face when I walk in the door helps so much.  She is so excited to see me; she jumps up and down, wagging her little curly tail and licking my face just begging for me to let ...

I discovered this song on Pandora this morning and immediately bought the song. Just a little bit of inspiration for myself. Hell, it's inspiration for anyone who needs a little pick-me-up today, tomorrow, or ever. "I feel lovely the way that I am." LOVELY by Sara Haze I don't wanna be her I just want to be little old me Shouldn't have to think Who am I suppose to be today And what gives you the right To tell me who I should be Who gave you that right Cause I, I feel lovely Just the way that I am Yes I feel lovely The way that I am I know you want the best Yeah only good things for me But you have to realize I can't be all these things you project on me Cause I'm beautiful to me Doesn't that mean a thing I feel lovely Just the way that I am Yes I feel lovely The way that I am I need that to be enough for you Need that to be enough for you Cause it's enough for me It's enough for me Am I suppose to give up eve...

A wise woman once told me, "There are few things certain in this life. One certainty is the tide. As you stand on the shore, the tide will come in and go out. Are you standing there watching it go by or are you swimming it to get to where you want to be?" How profound? So, on that note... one of my favorite Incubus songs; Drive. DRIVE by Incubus Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear Take the wheel and steer It's driven me before And it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal But lately I'm beginning to find that I Should be the one behind the wheel Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there With open arms and open eyes yeah Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there I'll be there So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive Will I choose water over wine and hold my own and drive? It's driven me before And it seems to be the way that everyo...

Last night was a big night for me. It was my first night back on stage singing after a year break following Kiss of the Spiderwoman and all that jazz. I've been back on stage recently in a play (The Laramie Project) and I had a few small parts (thank God and Sheran and Abel for that opportunity) so that was a nice, easy step back to the stage; along with much nudging from family and close friends. :) All that said, last night was a big deal for me. Mama's Party at Tucker's Blues in Deep Ellum! Small crowd, but lively. I was singing 2nd after Liz and before Kristin, who both were awesome! I can't tell you exactly what happened or how it did, but as soon as I took the mic and stepped into the light something did. Like I woke up or a light turned on or I came to know a peace I haven't known in so long. There was nowhere else I could have been in those moments than right where I was on that stage. It was so exhilarating! It's like I was my old self again...

I do so desperately want to talk about my most recent break up, but at the exact same time, I absolutely don't want to talk about it. It's a broken record; SSDD and who the hell wants to hear that song all over again? I really don't and it's really (when you break it down) my own fault. My ever so impeccable ability to choose the wrong kinds of men. I have this uncanny ability to sell myself so short (physically and literally) that I always seem to end up with the same kind of guy and it ends... just like the others. I am the walking/talking definition of insane. Am I just a glutton for punishment? Why do I think that every time they will prove me wrong when I know damn well they won't? Why do I possess this need to be proven wrong in this one particular arena? What the hell? Am I really that scared that I won't find someone good enough for me that I just continue to settle just so I'm not alone? Am I really as alone as I think I am? EMILY!!! Sn...

This is a song from the group called The Civil Wars. I was introduced to them this past weekend by my dear friend, Jeremy. Amaze balls. I fell in love immediately when I heard this song... and now I send it out to you... whoever you may be. I still believe in love. I still believe you're out there. I have not lost hope and I'm beyond grateful for that fact.

I'm done and I'm stronger for it. I deserve better and I know it. It's over and I'm not hoping/wanting/wishing for a sequel. Move on. Move away. Live your life without me in it. Thank you for what you taught me about what I want and who I am. I know who I am. Thank you for that reminder. Move forward in your life. I've moved forward in mine. Goodbye.

Just wanted to put this song out there… reminding me of our one special night… dancing with you to this song… It’s those little moments in life, the little reminders like this night that are given to us to remind us we’re alive and breathing and we have been noticed. We’re not alone and we’re worth someone’s time… So to my stranger, I thank you! Send Me the Moon - Sara Bareilles Holding my breath Last one I've got left 'till I see you Deliver my heart With the pieces and parts of me left Every last day Seemed to carry the weight of a lifetime Watch from the ground As the gold fluttered down from the sky Sweet sun Send me the moon Empty the skies out Bringing me one step closer to you Send it soon And I will breathe in, breathe out 'Til you come in and out Of view Of view Inches away from you Scared what I'll take from you, darling I can live with your ghost If you say that's the most that I'll get Darkness to light Moved from day into night to...

I feel that there will be more blogs like my most recent coming in the next few days/weeks. I'm in a healing process and music is my way of healing. Sad, happy, angry... who knows where the emotions will take me musically, but I'm just gonna go with it. Here is what I feel I need right now: Lift Me Up By Kate Voegele This road is anything but simple Twisted like a riddle I've seen high and I've seen low So loud, the voices of all my doubts Telling me to give up, to pack up and leave town Even so, I had to believe Impossible means nothing to me, yeah So can you lift me up, Turn the ashes into flames ‘Cause I have overcome More than words will ever say And I've been given hope That there's a light on up the hall And that a day will come When the fight is won And I think that day has just begun Somewhere, every body starts there I'm counting on a small prayer, Lost in a nightmare But I'm here, and suddenly it's so clear Th...

This is how I'm feeling today. I've had this song on repeat for about 30 minutes now... Guess I need to hear it for a reason. High Road By Kate Voegele All I can say is things didn't go as I planned Seems every day I'm learning is out of my hands And coming to terms is harder than ever before When you would give anything to know what all of this is for Well there are things that I cannot change now But these are strings that I will untangle So gimme a high road to rise up and follow I'll keep my eyes closed and breathe And gimme a tightrope to walk from the highest peak And I'll never look down at my feet Somebody said if you can let down your pride You won't be afraid, fear's not a safe place to hide And I was convinced I'd never win your love, no I didn't see all I really needed was my own And there are things that I cannot explain now But it's not too late and I am so thankful And I got a high road to rise up and...

Hello 2012! Welcome! Good to see a new face! Many new things on the horizon... new changes... renewed spirit... A breath of fresh air! I feel so many good things coming this year. 2011 was a somewhat turbulent year for me emotionally and I'm glad it's come to an end and I'm thankful for all that I learned from it. I've missed blogging and I really should do it more often. I know I've said that before, but things get in the way and time just flies by you. So, I promise this to you... I will blog at least once a month. A reasonable and attainable goal for me. :) I'll try and catch you up on all that is going on soon...