Posts

Showing posts from July, 2023

Emily Kate Photography

Image
 Emily Kate Photography That's me... I'm a photographer. I'm still learning my new camera, but do I love the shots I've been taking. What do you think universe? Do I have an eye for it? Or am I just another fish in the ocean? Snowy Day in January 2023 Portland, ME in January 2023

I am more than I used to be...

 I don't know why today was the day I remembered/stumbled upon this blog again... well, all my blogs. Kismet much? I just spent the last 30 minutes going through my old posts and I kinda want to smack that girl. How blind I was to so many things, but mostly my own worth. I kept placing my worth in what boys (and I use that word intentionally) thought of me. And I was so broken when it ended... as if it was surprising. Reading through the posts I thought I would remember all the feelings and pain, but I didn't. Like the girl that was all over those posts no longer exists. I'd like to think that, for sure. I'd like to think that there is no way I will ever be her again (cause she was a bit of a narcissistic bitch). I'd like to believe that I've actually grown up and know what I'm worth because of me and not a man. Let's call that a vast improvement from where I was when I first started this blog (back in 2010)! I can also say that the relationship between ...

Today, I learned some truths about my past...

It's no secret that I have an interesting and rocky relationship with my immediate family. It's gone from good to bad and back again a few times over for several different reasons. Some of it is my fault (bad choices in my youth and early adulthood). Some of it is their fault (not recognizing what I needed and passing judgement when it wasn't deserved). We have argued about that little fact for years and I don't think we will ever see eye to eye on it, but we persevere... survive. It's all I've ever known how to do. Survive. It's more than just a physical survival: keep breathing, eat food, drink water; it's emotional survival. How do I make the best of this crap-tastic situation? How do I deal with and move past these feelings about this situation? How do I keep smiling? Why do I keep smiling?  For many years (most of my life come to think of it), I've put on a brave and happy face. No matter the circumstances, I smile. I laugh and making people l...