The end and beginning of a year...

I do so desperately want to talk about my most recent break up, but at the exact same time, I absolutely don't want to talk about it. It's a broken record; SSDD and who the hell wants to hear that song all over again? I really don't and it's really (when you break it down) my own fault. My ever so impeccable ability to choose the wrong kinds of men. I have this uncanny ability to sell myself so short (physically and literally) that I always seem to end up with the same kind of guy and it ends... just like the others. I am the walking/talking definition of insane. Am I just a glutton for punishment? Why do I think that every time they will prove me wrong when I know damn well they won't? Why do I possess this need to be proven wrong in this one particular arena? What the hell? Am I really that scared that I won't find someone good enough for me that I just continue to settle just so I'm not alone? Am I really as alone as I think I am? EMILY!!! Snap out of it!

It's time to wake up and smell reality. Take a good whiff of it and realize ALL the possibilities and stop selling myself so short. I deserve better than what I let myself have... I know I do. My folks, my sister, my brother, my best friends, and even my good friends ALL tell me the same thing.

Guess I should start listening... They're my family and friends for a reason, right?

I love you guys... so much more than I can express right now... Mostly because I have to go back and do work! :)

Comments

  1. Courtney JonesMarch 22, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    I.Love.You. I'm so proud of you and look forward to being right there beside you in this fresh start to your life :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EmilyApril 4, 2012 at 5:10 PM

      You, best friend, make my heart smile! Your words mean so much. I love you and I'm so excited to know that you're always there for me!

      Fresh start? Here I am!

      Delete

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