A New Day

Yes, a new day. And I will find the little things today that make me happy. I will take this day one moment at a time. Except that, I may have caused myself to stumble a bit. I received my regular P90X newsletter this morning (yes, I too am a convert) and it contained a recipe for a grilled salmon burrito. This immediately made me think of Greg. (He likes salmon so much he puts it in his grits in the morning)! So, I forwarded him the email. He responded back. He hoped that I was having a lovely morning. This made me smile and subsequently look through the emails that he and I have corresponded with over the past several months. Yeah, I was so emotionally cutting. Why do I do that? I mean, I know I'm not the only one that does, but I seem to do it more frequently. Why do I want to feel pain? Do I need to feel pain to know I exist? I don't get it. Why intentionally hurt myself emotionally? I miss him.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wow... that just happened...

So, my "friend" (and I use that term loosely), the one that owes me about $200... oh, did she just make me angry! She told me a couple weeks ago that she would be unable to pay me right now because she has to pay for summer school. In March? Really? I'm not an idiot, but apparently she is. She commented or wrote on someone's wall that she was thankful that they bought her lunch (that's like 3 days now) and she's looking forward to the movies this weekend and the tattoo shop! Seriously? You're gonna spend the money you owe me on tats? Have you no respect? No dignity? No care or concern for what your word means? Does it not bother you that your word means nothing and that I have lost that much more respect for you? Does your reputation not concern you? After all the years we spent under the heading of "best friends", you throw it all away. I mean, you already kind of did with the Christmas dinner at Mi Cocina with your words. Yes, th...
Read more

New Year...New Blog... Newness.

Hello 2012! Welcome! Good to see a new face! Many new things on the horizon... new changes... renewed spirit... A breath of fresh air! I feel so many good things coming this year. 2011 was a somewhat turbulent year for me emotionally and I'm glad it's come to an end and I'm thankful for all that I learned from it. I've missed blogging and I really should do it more often. I know I've said that before, but things get in the way and time just flies by you. So, I promise this to you... I will blog at least once a month. A reasonable and attainable goal for me. :) I'll try and catch you up on all that is going on soon...
Read more

I am more than I used to be...

 I don't know why today was the day I remembered/stumbled upon this blog again... well, all my blogs. Kismet much? I just spent the last 30 minutes going through my old posts and I kinda want to smack that girl. How blind I was to so many things, but mostly my own worth. I kept placing my worth in what boys (and I use that word intentionally) thought of me. And I was so broken when it ended... as if it was surprising. Reading through the posts I thought I would remember all the feelings and pain, but I didn't. Like the girl that was all over those posts no longer exists. I'd like to think that, for sure. I'd like to think that there is no way I will ever be her again (cause she was a bit of a narcissistic bitch). I'd like to believe that I've actually grown up and know what I'm worth because of me and not a man. Let's call that a vast improvement from where I was when I first started this blog (back in 2010)! I can also say that the relationship between ...
Read more